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The Fellennium Files - Part 1 - Something About Smiles
The Fellennium Files Episode Two: The Wal Mart Experience
By Angel C. Little
As we left the Fellennium Files last, Angel and Peter are on their
way to Wal Mart to score themselves some high fat high cal high taste
food that Jeanannd has banned from the Fellennium compound.
But all is about to get dark and scarry in Fellennium-villie......
(in Peter's car)
Peter: Okay, what should we stock up on?
Angel (reading a book called "Selfology 101" by Alan Smithee): Humm....
how about some beef. Real beef. Not that low fat low cal low taste stuff
that Jeannie shoves at us.
Peter: Yeah, and some Chedder Cheese too. For the BBQ pit of course.
Angel: Right. How about some ice cream. I vote for Cookies And Cream.
Peter: Okay.
(meanwhile outside in the woods, a mysterious figure is lurking around
in the woods on a scooter following real closely behind Peter and Angel.
Ten minutes later Peter and Angel finally arrive at Wal Mart. The place
is busy as usual, little children screaming, parents getting angry,
teenagers running around. Just another typical day at Wal Mart, the place of
smiley faces galore)
Peter: This place looks like...
Angel: (interrupting) I know. Hell.
(meanwhile back at the Fellennium bunkers)
Jeanannd: (looking at one of her cats) Ooohhhhhh come here. (pets the
cat and notices how wet it is) Peter must of been trying to eat you again
huh. Well he won't get away with it. No he won't.
(knock on the door)
Jeanannd: Who is it?
Man: Its Frank.
Jeanannd: Come in.
(Frank Black along with Jordan enters the compound)
Jordan: I want to go home daddy. If we don't go home now I'll do my
weird Pepsi voices.
Frank: How could you? I've only been letting you drink Coke based
products and besides, you seem to like them.
Jordan: (goes into the evil Pepsi Girl voice) I've been pretending, now
give me my Pepsi and lets go home to mommy.
(Frank sighs)
Frank: Remember what we did to mommy in the woods. We BBQed her
when Peter and Angel came out to visit with supplies. Remember all that
low fat low cal low taste stuff they brought because all the high fat
high cal high taste stuff was sold out.
Jordan: But she is home.
Jeanannd: Frank, we got a crisis on our hands.
Frank: What is it?
Jordan: She is HOME. In the yellow house. Worrying about you.
Frank: Calm down Jordan.
Jeanannd: Her gift again?
Frank: Yeah. Well, what is the crisis?
Jeanannd: Peter and Angel went on their high fat high cal high taste
urge again. Can you reel them in?
(Frank's Visions: A microphone bouncing up and down, a body
in a river, lips talking into a mic, a house blowen into the wind,
an Englishman in a garden, a bunch of high fat high cal high taste
food in a bag, an Englishman walking in New York with an umbrellia)
Frank: Peter has gone insane. You feeding him that low value
food has him driven to tears. Every little low value food for him
isn't magic because for him its not wrapped around his stomach.
He feels like you got a fortress around his high value food and
he will break thru it to get at it. At all costs. And Angel. Well, he is
along just to help Peter's need. For high fat high cal high taste food.
Jeanannd: Frank, did you just realize you rhymed song titles of
Sting and The Police in all that?
Frank: No, but I do realize it is a brand new day.
Jordan: Daddy I want to go home. Lets go.
Jeanannd: I'll take care of her.
Frank: Thanks.
(back to Wal Mart, Peter and Angel have made it so far to the
meat department. Angel is over at the cheese area trying to decide
between Cheedar and Colby, Peter is over in the meat flirting with
the meat lady)
Peter: I remember back in my days when there was no such thing
as fat free, low fat, or even half fat. It was all good.
Meat Lady: Oh well, everybody is so concerned about health. But
in a way we have to watch ourselves.
Peter: I've been surrounded by low fat for so long its making me sick.
Meat Lady: Well I'll get a two pound pack of real beef ready for you.
Angel (coming back from the cheese area): I picked up some nice
Cheedar.
Peter: Okay. Why not Colby?
(Angel sighs)
Angel: Want that as well?
Peter: Sure. (notices a figure behind him that looks suspicious) Ang,
do you see that man behind us?
Angel: No.
Peter: That person has followed us around since we first got here.
Angel: This is a Wal Mart, the land of insanity.
Peter: I just feel suspicious about this man. I wish Frank were here
with us, he'd know.
(Angel looks behind him and see's Frank approaching)
Angel: Look who's here Peter.
Frank: Angel, put down that high fat high cal high taste cheese now.
Angel: No Frank. I cannot.
(The Meat Lady comes back out with Peter's highly valued meat. Peter
grabs it and immediattly runs off with the cart, Angel right behind him.
Frank is in pursuit, telling them along the way that their high fat high cal,
high taste food is going to kill them)
(meanwhile, back at the meat counter)
Mysterious Man: That was Peter Watts right?
Meat Lady: I have no idea. I just package meat for sale.
Mysterious Man: Certain people must be sacraficed because
they sold meat to bald men with pencil thin mustaches.
Meat Lady: Look, this is not that TV show Millennium where
you think I'm going to follow you in your ritual.
Mysterious Man: I never said it was. (hands card to Meat Lady)
Call me if anything comes up. This is who we are. (walks away)
(Meat Lady looks at card:
DAN OWEN
THE TRUST
1-555-555-5555
She pauses before putting the card in her pocket)
(meanwhile, the pursuit of Peter and Angel by Frank has been stalled
by a few minutes when the two split up when Frank lost track of them and
followed Angel into the Electronics department where Frank started to
look thru the Sting bin looking for the Brand New Day CD Single but, alas,
its not there since its not been released)
(Peter and Angel has reunited up at the checkout counter. After quickly
getting their high fat high cal high taste food checked out, they made a quick
dash to their car)
Peter: We made it.
(looking at the car only now noticing the punctured flat tires)
Angel: Oh (censored bleep)
(looking right behind him, Angel notices the Mysterious Man aiming a gun
right at him)
Peter: Angel, get down.
Angel: But he is going to shoot me.
Mysterious Man: I won't shoot if you give me that food.
Peter: This isn't about the food.
Mysterious Man: You are right Peter. Its about you.
(Frank now exiting Wal Mart and approaching the conflict. A small crowd
is starting to gather around the scene)
Peter: What do you want?
Mysterious Man: You Peter. And I will kill Angel and Frank to get you.
(pulls gun trigger)
Frank: (running to save Angel) ���NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO
(Angel sits still, his hands folded and praying to the lord)
Angel: Dear God, please forgive me for my sins. Dear God,
please forgive me for my......
(blackness... dead silence....)
TO BE CONTINUED......
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