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Requiem for Jason McGuire
by Robin Vogel
Farewell, Jason McGuire,
You've blackmailed your last mark,
You've gone to hell, as you deserve,
Body and soul consigned to the dark.
You preyed upon Elizabeth Stoddard,
Made her think she had murdered Paul,
You wrung from her plenty of money,
But that wasn't the worst, not at all.
The worst goes so very much deeper,
You made Liz imprison herself for years,
The poor woman stood crying over an empty grave
Sobbing useless, unwarranted tears.
You threatened poor Carolyn cruelly,
Sent her running into the arms of Buzz,
Why shouldn't she marry a man like that
When her mother was marrying scuzz?
You taunted sweet Vicki Winters,
"Who are you?" you queried with glee,
Then you beat up on poor Willie Loomis,
Demanding, "Give all the jewels to me!"
Well, Jason, your crimes are many,
Probably well over a dozen,
None of that matters a whit now,
'Cause you've met up with the Collinses' cousin.
So we bid you farewell, Jason McGuire,
You were greedy and broke all the rules,
Now you'll moulder forever in a shallow grave
The well-deserved fate of all fools.
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